SMS of The Day in English with Pictures

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27/04/2016

“Don’t be afraid to cry.
It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts.”
~ Hopi Native American ~

Solution:
Step1: Do multiplication first i.e 1 x 0 = 0
Step2: Now add all, i.e;
1+1+1+1+1+
1+1+1+1+1+
1+1+1+1+1+
1+1+0=17 Ans.

That First Kiss said to I LOVE YOU,
The Second kiss said to I will be there,
The Third kiss said to I am Always Yours.
My Heart Replied,
I LOVE YOU very Much,
And Then I Will never Leave Every Moment,
And I will Hug my Dear and Kiss Her!!!

May Mata Bless You On This Special Day Of Navratri,
And May On This Festive Season Dhan,
Yash And Samriddhi Comes To Your Home,
Happy Navratri.

Beautiful Lines for Every Group:-
Alone I can 'Say' but Together we can 'talk'.
'Alone I can 'Enjoy' but Together we can 'Celebrate'.
'Alone I can 'Smile' but Together we can 'Laugh'.
That's the BEAUTY of Human Relations.
We are nothing without Each other.
Stay Connected!!

“People are fed by the food industry,
which pays no attention to health,
and are treated by the health industry,
which pays no attention to food.”
~ Wendell Barry ~

Wife is “Received call”
Girl is “Dialled call”
Aunty is “Missed call”
Lover is “waiting call”
BUT… Friendship is “FEVICOL”

Simple line but great meaning:-
Empty pockets teach You million things in life,
but, full pockets can spoil You in million ways,
So don’t think Negative…
think always Positive !

“We are all a people in need.
We are not perfect.
We are not machines.
We make mistakes.
We need grace.
We need compassion.
We need help at times.
We need other people.
And that’s okay.”
~ Jamie Tworkowski ~

Age 13 Boy: Can I kiss you?
Girl: No my dad’s watching.
Age 16 Boy: Can I kiss you now?
Girl: Just a peck on the cheek…!
Age 18 Boy: You are an adult now!
Can I kiss... Girl kisses him: * Muuwwaaahhh *
Like if you want kiss someone right now

Do we know Actual full form of some words???
Newspaper: North East West South past and present events report.
Chess: Chariot, Horse, Elephant, Soldiers.
Cold: Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease.
Joke: Joy of Kids Entertainment.
Aim: Ambition in Mind.
Date: Day and Time Evolution.
Eat: Energy and Taste.
Tea: Taste and Energy Admitted.
Pen: Power Enriched in Nib.
Smile: Sweet Memories in Lips Expression.
Bye: Be with you every time.
Share these meanings as majority of us don’t know these.

Romantic SMS for wife :- So kiss me and smile for me,
Tell me that you'll wait for me, Hold me like you'll never let me go, Cause I'm leaving' on a jet plane, Don't know when I'll be back again..!

“My laughter won’t last forever but neither will my tears.
We say this life isn’t perfect.
And it isn’t. It isn’t perfectly good.
But, it also isn’t perfectly bad, either.”
~ Yasmin Mogahed ~

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”
~ Mother Teresa ~

A blonde has sharp pains in her side, so she goes to the hospital.
The doctor examines her and says,
"You have acute appendicitis." The blonde says,
"That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."

“When you start doubting yourself,
remember how far you have come.
Remember everything that you have faced,
All the battles you have won,
and all the fears you have overcome.”

I am Looking for a Bank,
Which can perform two things for me?
Give me a Loan,
and… Then Leave me Alone :p

“Show respect to people who don’t even deserve it.
Not as a reflection of their character,
but as a reflection of yours.”
~ Dave Willis ~

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

“Problems are the gifts that make us dig out & figure out who we are,
what we’re made for,
and what we’re responsible for giving back to life.”
~ Tony Robbins ~

A science teacher tells his class,
"Oxygen is a must for breathing and life.
It was discovered in 1773."
A blonde student responds,
"Thank God I was born after 1773!
Otherwise I would have died without it."

A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television.
The husband sighs and complains,
“This is disappointing.
It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife.
“Now you know how I always feel.”

Newton, Pascal and Archimedes are playing hide and seek.
Archimedes starts to count, Pascal hides in a bush,
and Newton draws a square on the ground and steps into it.
Archimedes finds Newton first, of course,
but Newton replies, "Nope.
One Newton on one square meter is equal to one Pascal."

“A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.”
~ Luna Turner ~

“If you want victory you must first surrender.”
~ War Room ~

Husband came home drunk.
To avoid wife's scolding,
he took a laptop & started working.
Wife: did you drink? Husband: No.
Wife: Idiot then why you are typing on suitcase!
Don’t laugh alone.
Pass it on to your buddies...!

Super insults:- Smart answer by a female...! On a flight,
a guy asked a beautiful lady sitting next to him...!
'Nice perfume... which one is it?
I want to gift it to my wife..!!
Lady:- 'Don't give her.... some idiot will find an excuse to talk to her..!!'

A cute excuse:- Teacher-Why are you late?
Student-Mom & dad were fighting.
Teacher-so what makes you late if dey were fighting?
Student-one shoe was in mom's hand and one in dad's..!

Mother to Son: Who is Tippu Sultan?
Son : Don't know .
Mother : Sometime give attention to study also..
Son to Mother : Do you know Chinky Aunty ?
Mother : Don't know Son:
Sometimes give attention to Dad also !

A letter from a teacher to a parent: Dear Parent,
Kumar doesn't smell nice in class.
Please try to bath him.
Parent's answer: Dear Teacher,
Kumar is not a rose,
don’t smell him, teach him...!

Two students were arguing when their teacher entered the classroom.
The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”
One boy answers, “We found a ten dollar bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”
"You should be ashamed of yourselves," said the teacher,
"When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was."
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

Vakra Tunda Mahakay Surya koti Sama prabha,
Nirwighnam Kurume Dewo Sarwa Karye Shu Sarwada.
Ganpati Bappa Morya.
HAPPY GANESH CHATURTHI..!

“If you are not willing to learn,
no one can help you.
If you are determined to learn,
no one can stop you.”
~ Zig Ziglar ~

One day three women went for a job interview.
The man interviewing them posed all three the same question.
What would you do if you found an extra €50 in on your pay check that you shouldn’t have received?
The first one said,
“I’d give it back as it wasn’t mine and I wasn’t entitled to it.”
When he asked the second one she replied,
“I’d give it to Charity.” When he asked the third one,
she was more honest and she said,
“I’d keep it for myself and go out for a drink.”
Which one of the three women got the job?
The one with the biggest tits!

“Never be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no one’s definition of your life.”
~ Harvey Fierstein ~

Reporter:- PM sir;
which fruit do you like?
Modi:- Apple Reporter:-
Breaking news..! Modi does not like Mangoes; Banana; etc.
Let’s ask Congress their views on this.
Manish Tewari:- Modi like Apple means Red color. This means he likes bloodshed…
This means he does not want peace and harmony in the country
Ahmed Patel:- This means Modi is only promoting Hindutva.
He does not like green fruits means he is against Muslims.
This clearly shows Modi has no feelings for Muslims.
Nitish Kumar:- This attitude of Modi is what made us split from NDA.
Rahul Gandhi:- Modi never says which chocolate he likes.
Arnab Goswami : The nation wants to know why Modi likes apple more than other fruits
The Nation has the right to know this.
Sonia Gandhi:- People of India please ask from where Modi is going to get the money to buy such an expensive fruit.
Geelani:- This is Modi’s tactic to usurp Kashmir.
We will not allow this to happen.
Yechuri:- Selecting an expensive fruit like Apple shows Modi is pro- capitalist.
It also means he is pro corporate and wants to promote Apple products indirectly.
Why is he not saying about Samsung etc.
We want a CBI enquiry.
Kejriwal:- Traditionally Mango is considered the King of Fruits.
Modi is anti tradition. This is against the interest of the aam aadmi.
Foreign Media:- Modi’s communal policies are hurting the secular fabric of India.
Common man - God save this country.

“Blessed is he who expects nothing,
for he shall never be disappointed"
~ Alexander Pope ~

“If you can Dream it,
You can Achieve It”
~ Zig Ziglar ~

“Why use up the forests,
which centuries in the making,
and the mines which required ages to lay down,
if we can get the equivalent of forest and mineral products in annual growth of the hemp fields?”
~ Henry Ford ~

What's the difference between a Jewish wife and a Catholic wife?
A Jewish wife has real diamonds,
a Catholic wife has real orgasms.

“I wonder how many people I’ve looked at all my life and never seen.”
~ John Steinbeck ~

“History does not always repeat itself.
Sometimes it just yells, ‘Can’t you remember anything I told you?’
and lets fly with a club.”
~ John W. Campbell Jr ~

An old lady went to visit her dentist.
When it was her turn, she sat in the chair,
Lowered her underpants,
and raised her legs.
The dentist said, “Excuse me, but I’m not a gynaecologist.”
“I know,” said the old lady.
“I want you to take my husband’s teeth out.”

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband puts, "Myduck," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says,
"Error. Not long enough."

Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

“In the end, it is important to remember that we cannot become what we need to be,
by remaining what we are.”
~ Max De Pree ~

A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says:
"Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas."
Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me your mommy."

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good!
Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

Two men were talking. "So, how's your se* life?"
"Oh, nothing special.
I'm having Social Security se*." "Social Security se*?"
"Yeah, you know, I get a little each month,
but not enough to live on.”

Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems,
not people; to focus your energies on answers, not excuses.”
~ William Arthur Ward ~

Life is very short,
so break silly rules.
Forgive quickly, Believe slowly, Love truly, Laugh loudly &
Never avoid anything that makes you smile.. :)

“A Good Leader Inspires People To Have Confidence In The Leader,
A Great Leader Inspires People To Have Confidence In Themselves”.. !!

U never get a person Of your type In this World
u will either have to adjust or
u will have to Compromise
u adjust when Someone wants to be with u
and u compromise when
u want to be with some one..
Amazing but true..!

I Don't Want Diamonds Or The World Just Want You To Hold Me And Call Me Your Girl.

A Very Good Relationship Needs Just Two Things..
A 'LITTLE TIME' To Be Spent With Them.. &
A 'TRUE CARE' To Be Shown Always....
Good Morning / Good Night.

Weak people believe in Revenge Strong people believe in Forgiving &
Intelligent people believe in Ignoring...
a very great good morning to all.

Happiness is like the tip of a tail!
If the cat runs to catch the tail,
it has to keep running forever!
But if it walks in its own style,
the tail follows!
Live your own life style!

A man jumped in the water…
didn’t come out. Another man jumped in,
he didn’t come out too Santa was watching from a distance concluded…
‘Human beings are soluble in Water’

“Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing.”
~ Camille Pissarro ~

“Don’t settle.
Either they will wake up to the fact that you are worth more…or you will.”
~ Charles Orlando ~

Memories of moments celebrated together…
Moments those have been attached in my heart, forever…
Make me miss you even more this Navroz…
May this Navroz bring in good fortune &
abounding happiness for you! HAPPY NAVROZ MUBARAK!!!

May the glory of King spread all over,
May Lord praise us in galore,
Lets pray for happiness and prosperity..
May this Parsi New Year gives us Happiness.
Lasting ever and ever !!…
Happy Parsi New Year..!

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear,
but the triumph over it.
The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid,
but he who conquers that fear.”
~ Nelson Mandela ~

Freedom in our Mind;
Faith in the Words;
Pride in our Souls;
Salute to Indian on this Independence Day!
Vande Mataram! Proud to be an Indian!
Happy 15 August!
Happy Independence Day India!

P -> Perfect
A -> Aimbitious
K -> Kool
I -> Islamic
S -> Super
T -> Talented
A -> Able
N -> Nation
Happy 14 August
Happy Independence Day Pakistan!

If we lose a Pen,
we can buy New One;
but if we lose a pen Cap,
we can’t buy it...
so Love your Husband,
B’coz all Dhakkans are Important! :D

3 GOLDEN RULES:- Who is helping you,
Don't FORGET them.
Who is Loving you,
Don't HATE them.
Who is Trusting You,
Don't CHEAT them.

“If you don’t stick to your values when they’re being tested,
They’re not values:- they’re hobbies.”
~ Jon Stewart~

Always keep your Husbands Picture as mobile screen saver…
Whenever you face a Problem,
see the Picture & say: if I can handle this,
I can handle anything! :D

Wife (SMS) : Hi Baby…
Husband : Hii Darling… (sending failed)
Wife : R u there ???
Husband : Yes Yes…. I am here (sending failed)
Wife : R U ignoring me or wat ?
Husband : Honey I m not… I am trying to reply u (sending failed)
Wife : Its over… don’t ever talk to me again…
Husband : Ja mar (Message sent)
Admi Galat nahi hote, haalaat galat hote hai.

Once there were three turtles.
One day they decided to go on a picnic.
When they got there,
they realized they had forgotten the soda.
The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back.
A week went by, then a month, finally a year,
when the two turtles said,"oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!" ‬

Husband: I love you
Wife: I love you too,
infect I love you so much I will fight the whole world for you
Husband: but you fight with me the most
Wife: because you are the world to me…! :D

People are great if they can find their own faults Greater if they correct themselves,
but Greatest if they accept & love others with their faults.

Santa & His Wife Went 4 Divorces At Court.
Judge- U Hav 3 Kids, How Wil U Divide Them?
Santa Had Long Chat Wid Wife & said- Ok, Sirji We Wil Come Next Year Wid 1 More :D

Teacher:- students tell your names nd hobbies....? 1st boy:- my name is arun.... my hobby is watching moon... 2nd boy:- my name is arjun... nd my hobby is watching moon.... 3rd boy:- my name vikas..... my hobby is watching moon...... Teacher:- wow gud gud everyones hobbies are same.... Ok..! Now girls turn:- 1st girl:- hello mam my name is moon….! Teacher shocked..!!!! Boys rocked...... :D

Never cry for the person who hurts you.
Just smile & say:- Thanks for giving me the chance;
to find someone better than you.!

It's a day of REJOICE and BLISS;
It's a day of BLESSING and PEACE;
It's a day to REFLECT and PONDER;
It's a day to CELEBRATE TOGETHER!

When you truly love some one,
you don't look for faults and,
u don't look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes and faults,
you accept the faults and overlook the excuses ...
and live a romantic life...!

It is an incomparable journey where the Guru leads you;
From the Visible to the Invisible,
From the Material to the Divine,
From the Ephemeral to the Eternal.
Thanks for being my Guru!
"Happy Guru Poornima"